FRIEND

i knocked on the door to see if AJ was home. he was. “wanna ride bikes?” i asked, expectantly. ok. riding around the neighborhood was one of the most fun things..the wind rushing in my ears, the bumpy road beating up my spine through my seat. rocking back and forth as i pedaled as fas as i could, all the while feeling my friend right behind me, or seeing him hop over potholes or swerve around them in front of me. i enjoyed it while i could. eventually the friendships would, for reasons beyond my little child knowledge, become boring to the other, as if i were a toy that had lost its appeal, or a bit of bread left to harden too long on the counter—no longer useful or appetizing.

...desperate for something to do, skin crawling with it, he roamed the neighborhood, stick in hand, smacking the sides of those big green electrical boxes just to make that deep metallic clang. as if to announce “I AM HERE! COME PLAY WITH ME!” finding friendship in the dust on the ground, finding comfort in the place where two walls met. finding something to say to a shadow. following demons on their underground paths. playing catch with a rubber ball, feeling the frustration of not being able to catch it everytime. picking up the biggest rock he could handle, grey cold and rough, and taking his revenge on the precocious ball by throwing the rock at its soft bruiseable surface. but no, the ball was more resilient and the rock bounced directly back to hit him in the teeth, gritty, bloody, salty, metallic. lesson learned—your agression only comes back to hurt you.